Colorado 

Dear Velvet Tarot Column

Dear Velvet 

August 2009

Dear Velvet,

In regard to the guy that I reconnected with from years ago who is now married, where is he in his "decision-making" process at this point, or has he decided to forget about me/us and get back to . . . life as is?

Lisa

Dear Lisa,

The Reversed Ten of Cups can be very disappointing for relationships. While I don't see him moving toward you at this point, I also don't see him being happy with "life as is" either.  It's as if he is really stuck right now, and the choice is not an easy one.  But just because he hasn't contacted you definitely doesn't mean that he hasn't been thinking about you!  I feel that his thoughts have been somewhat melancholy with ideas of "if only things were different" going through his head.

A lot will likely depend on his choices that he makes in his present marriage -- which seems to be a marriage that doesn't truly fulfill him or make him happy.  But as we discovered in another reading we did, he does have a sense of loyalty about him which doesn't make it easy for him to just walk away from what he's built . . . even if he's not really happy where he is.  It's not that things are necessarily "terrible" in his marriage, but just not really fulfilling, as if he and she are not compatible enough together.  (Which may be a reason that it works so well for her to have to go away for long periods of time in her job.)  I'm not sure when you had said his wife takes her leave for her work next, but it is possible that he's waiting for that point in time to come to terms with the issue and make a decision.  Although he might think a decision would be easier at that point, I think he'll find that it's not any easier than it will be while she is home.  But he may also feel that if he waits too long, you'll be out of reach once again in his life.  So it's similar to a deja vu experience for him, but this time, things are different than in the past.  But he feels like love always seems to elude him when he thinks it's within his grasp . . . or he thinks that it's merely an illusion that he can't really expect to materialize in the way he would want.

Feelings can be hurt under this reversed energy, and there can be a sense of abandonment and loneliness -- perhaps sort of how you feel about the matter due to him not calling you.  He's not avoiding you to hurt your feelings . . . but it seems he is having trouble facing his own feelings right now, let alone facing how you feel about things.  Unless he could come knocking on your door to announce that he's a free man, he doesn't feel he has a lot to offer at this point.

So in terms of where he is with regard to the decision making process . . . well, he's probably not any further on that than he was when you last saw him in July.  He doesn't feel he can feasibly leave his family, even though he's not truly happy or content there.  In the same token, he also can't pretend everything is fine to let you walk out of his life when he's finally got the chance to reconnect with you as he's wanted to for a very long time -- but lost hope for.  So it's not an easy choice, and I don't see much progress in him making a choice at this point to move toward you -- even though his heart isn't really in his marriage either.  He's really stuck!  There is a delay with this reversed energy, but not necessarily everything being completely lost.  But during this time of delay, hopes and dreams can feel like they are disintegrating . . . for both you and for him, too.

I would like to mention the concept of soulmates here as well.  When you shared your story with me originally, Lisa, and we did that initial reading . . . it struck me how the chances were probably quite slim for the two of you to ever reconnect again.  But this is something that happens with soulmates, and if you and he do end up connecting yet again, this is probably not just mere coincidence, but very possibly a design of a soulmate relationship!  However, it's also true that just because two people are soulmates does not guarantee they will be able to come together in an actual relationship.  So this is interesting, because oddly enough, sometimes soulmates are apart for a very long time . . . and when an unexpected turn of events happens to bring these people together again, it's as if destiny is speaking.

For now though, I can see you are going to be in a time of waiting and delay . . . but I still don't feel that you've heard the last from this guy either!  He just can't make a decision right now.  For him, he's made a commitment already, and it's not something he feels he can easily back out of . . . but I detect that you are still very strongly on his mind.  He has to remember that you told him it would be his call to make due to his circumstances.  You showed him respect by handling it that way.

Many Blessings!

Velvet Angel