Colorado 

Dear Velvet Tarot Column

Dear Velvet 

March 2007

Dear Velvet,
My boyfriend left the relationship we had for almost 3 years.  I am wondering what the chances are that he will come back to me?  As far as I know he doesn't have a new girlfriend as being a reason to leave me.  We didn't even fight when he broke up but we have been fighting a lot lately.  We didn't used to fight like that.  But I think my jealousies have been a cause of this too, and I feel really bad about this whole thing.

Thank you so much!
Amy

Dear Amy,

The Four of Swords indicates that this break from each other is a necessary one, especially if this love relationship has been a stormy one recently.  Your boyfriend seems to need his space -- a time to think about what direction he wants to go.  I do think you and he will talk again, but you need to give this time.  In many cases, the Four of Swords will speak of just a temporary distance, and that this time apart can allow both of you to collect your thoughts and gain a better understanding of what each of you want and need.  This can be like a "cooling off period."

A temporary separation and time away from each other will allow both of you to think more calmly and rationally than you have been during times of stress and argument.  The best thing you can do for now is to wait and see if he will call you, because his space is very important to him right now.  You are in a situation that cannot be rushed, especially since things are on such shaky ground already.

He may call you again and want to see you . . . but only when he's ready.  The Four of Swords indicates the possibility of reconnecting with him after a time of absence.  Once you and he communicate again -- and I feel that you and he will -- the two of you need to talk this over and determine the source of the arguments you've started having.  It should not be a time of pointing fingers and laying blame at each other.  But it's a time to get a grip on what has been happening so that it can be corrected.  It should not be left unresolved, because that can create a situation where old wounds are rehashed and brought up again later to cause problems.  It will cause problems until it is amicably settled between the two of you.

So for now, Amy, it's important to let your boyfriend have the personal space that he needs.  Trying to beg or plead with him to come back will only hinder the progress of this situation.  A distance is needed right now so that you both will have some calm time away from each other to think things over.

Many Blessings!

Velvet Angel