Minnesota

Dear Velvet Tarot Column

Dear Velvet 

October 2002

Dear Velvet,

I have known Dominic for almost two years now.  He is a year younger than I am and we go to the same college, which is where we met.  For a good part of that time we have been involved with each other as more than friends and our connection is terribly strong.  But more often than not we are at odds with each other, and right now we are not "together" by his request, but still act as though we are.  I'm confused and discouraged by the situation as this has been going on for quite some time, almost five months now.  I know that he cares a great deal for me, but I don't
understand the distance that he puts between us.  Thank you for the time that you put into this reading.  I'm grateful for any guidance.
Question: What is wrong with my current relationship with Dominic?

Lilyblue

Dear Lilyblue,

It seems there have been perhaps a number of warning signs in this relationship.  It is normal when you love someone to want to cling to established structures and the status quo.  But sometimes such love also causes us to deny or overlook tensions and warning signs of possible problems.  The Reversed Tower card suggests that you may have been seeing the "fall" of this relationship, but deep down a part of you kept hoping or insisting that there were really no problems of significance.  It seems you have lived with the current relationship situation long enough to where his behavior no longer surprises you . . . but still, that doesn't make it hurt any less.

This card also indicates a frustrating change -- and I see how this relationship is indeed changing.  The Reversed Tower can signify Dominic's need to feel a sense of freedom.  I also see a resistance to change here, partly for you and also partly for Dominic.  It can be difficult to cope with the burdens of change, but this card indicates that it's inevitable.  With this card, it's important to see things for what they are, rather than just what you want them to be . . . and I know how hard that can be.  My heart goes out to you!

The time has come to start anew . . . with or without Dominic.  There are choices to be made by both of you, and without some serious discussion, things can never improve in any way that is fair to you.  Of course, one decision is to continue to endure this frustrating relationship, but if changes are not made, then it's probably time to look elsewhere.  Thus, it seems that the problems here are the difficulty in accepting changes that involve freedom and relationships.  It takes two to make a true and meaningful relationship work.  If one wants it half-way while the other wants it complete, then you see, Lilyblue, the Tower just falls as it has no real foundation to grow from.

I wish you the best in finding the true happiness you deserve!  I know you'll find it one day . . . probably when you least expect it :-)

Velvet Angel