Wisconsin 

Dear Velvet Tarot Column

Dear Velvet 

November 2009

Dear Velvet,
Next month for Christmas all the family will be getting together (parents, sisters, brothers, uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews, cousins, etc. -- the whole lot of them).  I am nervous about this because it's been like a family feud for years.  I would like to ask the Tarot for guidance to try to help all of us get along together as well as possible.  I realize it can't be only up to me, but a bit of guidance might help me at least do a few things right :)

Thanks so much, Angel!
Susan

Dear Susan,

In the image of the Five of Rainbows, we see a small child standing outside of a gate who cannot see a way through.  His path seems blocked. He is unable to see that the chain holding the gate is not actually locked.  All he really needs to do is pull out the chain, and he will have entry through this barred gate.  This card's keyword is the "Outsider," because it gives rise to feeling left out or excluded.  It gives rise to that small, helpless child within.  With the appearance of this card, I can see the idea here of your family feuding for years on end!  Feelings from the Five of Rainbows are deeply felt in one's life, and such feelings are often rooted in one's earliest childhood experiences.  So you probably have witnessed the family feuding even since you were a young child -- perhaps even before you could really understand the "what" and "why" of it all.

The problem with this "family feud" is that it is so deeply rooted, and thus, it tends to play over and over again in all of your lives -- in one form or another . . . probably in needless ways as well.  However, you do have an opportunity to help some of these family members stop that "repeated recording" or rerun.  All of you are family, and so all of you are included -- no matter who likes it or doesn't.  The fact that this big feuding family is actually coming together for Christmas is a sign, though, that much of this feuding can start to dissipate.  I suspect that there are at least a few others among this family who would also like to see the feuding, argument, and dissension come to an end.  If you happen to know who those others are, like yourself, who want things to be calmer and nicer within the family, do join forces with them in positive ways!  It is time for everyone to put down their defenses and stop letting old pain and issues interfere with the blessings and love that family is supposed to be all about.  At the very least, I think most of this family can put down their issues for Christmas, because the Five of Rainbows is considered to be a temporary energy.  Obviously the family feuding hasn't been temporary in nature, but even if just for one day, it seems that most people in this family can try to get along -- even if just on a temporary basis to get through Christmas and make it as pleasant as it should be.  But hopefully this one positive day, amidst a background of years of problems, can be the catalyst for change.  It really can be, and the more people that are willing to open their eyes to this . . . the more chance it has to significantly improve.

Even if it's hard to do with some of the people in this family, Susan, it's important to express your appreciation and gratitude to these people.  Find ways to show appreciation to as many of these people as you can -- even if it's as simple as telling someone they are wearing a lovely dress or blouse.  Set the mood and tone for yourself so that you can carry on through this day with an ally of goodwill and good cheer on your side.  Even if you have to fake it at first, I think you can actually start feeling these better sensations within you . . . especially when you see that a few people will actually not be as bitter or mean as you might expect.  People like to be acknowledged and appreciated under the Five of Rainbows energy.  They are looking for a way "in" to something better, as you are doing.  And this tells me that not everyone in this family wants to keep bickering or feuding with one another.  In all reality, there are probably more opposed to hanging on to this "feud" than there are people who want to keep it going.  So do keep that in mind as well so that you don't go through the day walking on eggshells or wondering where the land mines are going to get you.

With the Five of Rainbows, the perception of separateness is really little more than an illusion -- as shown to us in the card image by the gate that only appears to be locked.  But if you look at something like this through the eyes of a child, it can seem too monumental to get past.  As an adult, however, you can become aware that this path toward better family agreement is not impossible to access!

Another way to acknowledge people for their wisdom (which can make a person feel good) is to ask someone's advice about a matter.  Let people talk, and be a listener.  It's time to set aside pride and independence, because this has obviously been going on to a foolish degree -- and for much too long.  It seems you are not too proud to be the "better" person and help everyone work through these issues.  I think you'll find a few others who are also willing to drop some of that excessive pride and ego (and drama) in order to join together in the way that families should do.  The "poverty" and lack that this card is famous for seems to be the kind of "poverty" that exists in the richness of family values.  But if one person is willing to change, and then another person, and so on . . . this could actually be a Christmas in which you feel some real progress and improvement.  Don't focus on any negatives you see on this day of coming together with all of the family . . . but do focus on all the improvements you see through the day!  Additionally, don't view yourself or any particular members of this family as being a "victim."  Putting yourself or another on the level of victim mentality does not help.  No one has to be a "victim" in this situation at all!

Many Blessings,

Velvet Angel